


you, and me, and the end of all things

by thornmarch



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Introspection, Mentions of violence/character death but it's pretty vague, Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:40:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22584991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thornmarch/pseuds/thornmarch
Summary: There is always another Minfilia, and Ran'jit will always fail her.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 29





	you, and me, and the end of all things

His first Minfilia was a goddess. She was hope incarnate, the very embodiment of what Light had been when the world had believed it _good_. The girl couldn’t have been older than sixteen but to Ran’jit - to a child - she seemed so ancient, so strong.

Back in those days Eulmore was still a dangerous place, and Eater attacks were a regular occurance. Minfilia fought alongside veterans more than twice her age. She fought with sword and shield in hand, bathed in the radiant light of her magic, and no monster could defeat her. She was invincible. Unkillable. An avatar of safety and peace.

Until she wasn’t.

Ran’jit didn’t see the battle that took her. He was hunkered down with the other civilians, too young still to fight. The soldiers came later with news: they were safe, but Minfilia had not survived. The Lightwarden had taken her. She sacrificed herself to drive it back; she saved them all, and Ran’jit didn’t - _couldn’t_ \- understand why he was the only one crying.

Had they not loved her? Had they not sung her praises as he had? Had she not protected them?

_A shame. We’ll have to look for the next one soon_.

Ran’jit is four years old when he learns that goddesses are disposable. Easily replaced. Minfilia had bled, had suffered, had _died_ in their name, but her passing warranted naught more than a shrug. There would be another. There was always another.

The next Oracle of Light is found a year later. She’s brought to the city to be cared for, to be protected, and when she’s old enough to lift a shortsword she begins to learn to fight.

This time, Ran’jit trains with her. They learn together. He’s older but she’s quicker, and he revels in the joy of sparring with an equal.

Minfilia, despite her status, is treated like any other soldier. They take meals together. They sleep in the same barracks. And she sneaks out with them at “night”, to look up at that accursed sky and dream of stars.

She looks so much like his first Minfilia. The one that came before. But she’s not the same. She has no memories of the other girl. She has to learn to fight all over again. She had parents - somewhere, gone now - who had at some point, presumably, missed her. 

She has eyes that shine like the ocean. He’s never seen anyone smile so gently as her.

None of it saves her. 

He’s there this time. He sees her stumble, hears the Eater claws tear through her flesh. He fights it off, screaming, but he’s too late. Her blood is so warm under his hands as he tries in vain to staunch the flow, and all the while she smiles, _smiles_ , and whispers how it isn’t his fault.

This was her destiny. She’ll see him again.

But it won’t be her. It will be another girl with the same eyes and the same hair but she won’t remember dreaming of stars. Another girl sent out to fight and perish. An endless cycle of death.

The search for the next Oracle begins that day. Her body isn’t cold yet.

Ran’jit is twenty-five when the mayor brings a girl to him and asks him to train her. He agrees, of course, because maybe - _just maybe_ \- his tutelage will be enough. He’s just earned his first command. He’s grown since the last time. He kneels down to talk to the girl on her level and she smiles, that gentle smile not meant for war, and for just a moment he lets himself believe that this is his Minfilia. His friend. That she’s come back to him.

Minfilia works hard. He demands it. She’s strong, so strong, and when she successfully repels an Eater attack on the city he’s proud. They fight together again, like old times. They joke, and laugh, and she is so vivid, so bright, so _alive_. Surely this is enough. Surely she will be safe.

Pride makes him overconfident. He sends her out on what should have been a regular scouting mission. They hadn’t seen the Lightwarden in years. How could they have known it would appear now?

It tears her limb from limb before he reaches her across the fray, her screams echoing in his ears. He’s never seen so much blood. The Lightwarden departs and he scours the countryside for hours afterwards, trying to find enough pieces of her for a proper burial. 

By the time he returns to the city, covered in blood and dirt, the search parties have already left.

There is always another Minfilia. He never did find one of her legs.

Vauthry is born. He has never seen an infant with such dead eyes. The mayor explains that the boy will be their salvation. Once he can control his powers they’ll be safe. There will be no need for armies. No need for fighting. No need for death.

Eater attacks grow less frequent after that. Ran’jit trains the new Oracle in relative peace. He’s harsh. He will not treat her as a friend this time. Sentimentality made him weak, made them both weak. If he had been tougher, if he had made her work harder, then maybe Minfilia wouldn’t have-

This girl is afraid of him. She cowers under his gaze and flinches at his voice, and it hurts terribly but this is _for her own good_. 

He thinks back to the radiant girl from his youth and wonders how he had been so blind. There was never a goddess. There has only ever been a girl, smiling even as she’s forced to bear the weight of their hope. Even as it crushes her.

The new Oracle grows. She questions their newfound peace. Vauthry will be old enough soon to take control of the city from his father. They won’t have to fight anymore. What good has fighting done them? All they’ve managed to do is draw out the final act. There are few left who remember a time before endless Light. Few left to remember the stars.

Is it not better to see out these dying days in peace? She could finally be _safe_. Why must she throw that away? He’s tired of fighting. Tired of watching her die. Tired of waiting for an end that is so close and yet just out of reach. 

Minfilia flees the city. She doesn’t get far with an army of Eaters on her tail. They drag her back, only half alive, and Vauthry issues the command.

_Grant her death by your hand_.

She holds her head high, jaw clenched in defiance. Where did that gentle smile go? She watches, the ocean in her eyes threatening to swallow him. His path is abundantly clear.

Ran’jit strikes her through the heart. 

There will always be another Minfilia. 

There is always another Oracle. 

He leaves her body where it falls. Let Vauthry do with it what he will. 

Ran’jit will find her again. He will raise her again. He will bring her to this city and together they’ll wait for the end of this wretched world. No more death. No more suffering.

The search takes little more than a year. Scouts return with rumours of a child with blue eyes and golden hair, and he sets out to retrieve his Minfilia. He travels for several days and nights to reach her, across the violet fields of Lakeland and through the desolate wastes of Amh Araeng. 

The infant cries when she sees him. She is beautiful, and alive, and he will protect her no matter the cost. Nothing else matters. Not anymore.

Her parents hand her over, the hard work of convincing them already done. Eulmore is safe. Their child will grow up happy - she’ll know nothing of the hard existence they’ve eked out at the edge of the world. They only ask one thing.

_Just tell her that we loved her_.

He ponders their request as days turn to weeks turn to years, and he leaves those words unspoken. What use does Minfilia have for love? Love cannot shield her from the claws of an Eater. It cannot reattach lost limbs. It is not _love_ that keeps her safe, keeps her alive. It is walls and Vauthry’s vile magicks and his own martial prowess. She has no need for anything else.

He locks her away. A beautiful bird in a beautiful cage. When she's old enough to talk she begs him to let her go, to let her fulfill her destiny, and if not that then at least let her be _free_. He remains unmoved by her tears.

Let her hate him. Let her scream and cry and curse his name. No monster will harm her. No weapons will be pushed into her hands. There will be no more Minfilias. She will be the last.

He has no use for love either, so long as she survives.

**Author's Note:**

> you ever sit down and think about how fucked up the multiple minfilias thing is because i sure do


End file.
